Last year I have registered to a meditating session meant to release me from all my fears. And it did.
In my new book ‘Unlock the Real Me’ I have enumerated most of our fears: betrayal, injustice, abandon, fear of being alone, fear of rejection etc and lots of exercises on how to overcome every single fear.
I want to speak a bit about fear of betrayal, so I will leave you below a fragment from my book.
‘One of the worst fears that most of us has is the fear of betrayal. People who carry this fear are introverts and they can’t easily confess to others. Persons who fear of betrayal consider themselves a strong person and feel the need to control and organise everyone’s lives. The reason why this person wears a strong mask is because they are sensitive people who get easily hurt. They hate surprises, as they always feel the need to control and manipulate other people and situations. You never like to be interrupted and you might even become slightly verbally aggressive pointing out to the other person that you haven’t finish speaking. You hate laziness, and when you see people that are not doing things when you want and when you do them, again you might become verbally aggressive. You give others the impression that you are responsible and trustful, but you don’t trust anyone. Because of this fear you can easily push others away from you, being seen like a freak out for control who needs to plan life minute by minute and to always know what is going on. The worse this fear affects in the relationship. You control your partner, what he is doing, who he speaks with etc. You believe that if you know what your partner does the chances to be betrayed are non-existent, because you feel you have control over his life/actions. In every relationship I was, I did all this. My marriage was at the point to end because of my fear for betrayal. And if you add some paranoia in all this – the failure is for sure. Luckily, my husband understood my fear, and supported me in this process. We had numerous argues because of my fears, and still he was next to me, supporting me, and showing me 100% love. Usually the fear of betrayal starts from childhood. To me, it started around 12-13 years old when I caught my dad first cheating to my mom. Seeing her pain, I grew up putting on a strong mask and always being on-guard to avoid being betrayed by men. I can honestly say, I rarely enjoyed any of my relationships. I have created rules and principles that I was sure to always respect them and I have asked all my partners to respect them to avoid being betrayed (for example: ‘I am not having any male/female friends, so my partner can’t have either). When a disappointment comes across or when you are sad, usually you would tell that nothing is wrong, that all is fine just because you are running of suffering. All my relationship had a black cloud full of my fears and my insecurities. In my marriage, every weekend spent with my husband was amazing. And this was because he was always next to me. When week-day was starting, I became a nightmare: overstressed, anxious, paranoid – even myself I wanted to give up marriage thinking that he doesn’t love me enough. I was always picking up small things on him, just to give a reason to myself that indeed he doesn’t love me (for example, he forget a specific date, but he remembered what age had one of his colleagues – it was enough this little mistake for me to think that he doesn’t love me, and not because it was an honest mistake and everyone can forgets things). Once we realise that we are the owners of this fear we need to practice to get rid of it.
One of the worse things that I thought it would of happen if I would have been betrayed in my relationship would have been to be forever alone. And I was betrayed. But I didn’t know then it all happened for a reason. First to allow myself to become a stronger person, and secondly to allow myself to find a man that deserves me. Now, I am enjoying every single day of my life without feeling any fears, without being concerned of any upcoming betrayals because now I know that if it will happen to be betrayed, it will make me stronger and it will allow me to find a better person/friend/job that I truly deserve. Give other people chances, don’t let past experience stain your soul and mind. Have patience and let others act in their own rhythm, don’t rush them, don’t control their actions. Let people surprise you and let them show you how much they appreciate you, without thinking that later they might betray you. Live the moment, be happy and appreciate everyone. Trust in them – yes, you might get hurt, but you might not. So, is it worth it living a life scared of betrayal when it might never happen? Would you then be able to say that you really enjoyed every moment next to someone? Or have you just enjoyed the moments when you had control on them? For example: why would you be in a relationship with someone if you keep thinking that person, one day might betray you and to live with this fear daily? What is your percentage of happiness in all this? Don’t let the fears control your life. Control your fears and live a happy life!’
What do you think? Are you scared of being betrayed? What other fears do you have? Do you know how easy it is to overcome them if you do daily exercises?
Now that I overcome every fear I can honestly say I am happy every day, stopped being paranoid, enjoying every moment with my family, my friends, and looking forward for my future! ❤
#fears #betrayal #empowering #love #relationship #newperson #overcomingbetrayal #fearofbetrayal #youareperfect